The Power of Forgiveness: Stop Drinking the Cocktail of Bitterness

Forgiveness has not received the acclaim that it deserves. It has been sorely underrated, but mostly by those who prefer to hold tight to their offenses.

Why would one want to do a thing like that, you may ask. The offense has become hardened and they have embraced their bitterness. It’s almost like the offense has become hard wired to that individual.

They do not realize that the bitterness that they have given a home to, has not just embraced its host, but has grown quite comfortable. The thought of forgiveness is appalling to them. They say to themselves, as well as boast out loud, “You don’t know what they did!” He stole my life savings! He cheated on me! He killed my son, He molested my daughter, he raped me, that drunk driver killed my daughter! I was betrayed.

You have every single right there is to be angry, very angry. But now what? Is that the person being affected by the poison of bitterness, gall, and anger? Is what you are carrying serving you in any good and profitable way? Is your life style better? Has it gotten you a promotion or even a free vacation? Has any relationship that you had prior to this offense and because of it, gotten any better?

Even when you’re not thinking about it, it is still working in the background against you. You don’t realize it, but it is. It is affecting your heart condition. You don’t want to trust anyone again. You have in that moment made an inner vow. Unforgiveness is affecting the organs in your body. Psychologically, it is touching you in places that you have no idea about. Let me explain.

1. Mental & Emotional Stress

Holding onto unforgiveness creates chronic stress, which can lead to anxiety, depression, and emotional instability. The brain stays in a state of heightened alert, often replaying the offense, which reinforces negative emotions.

2. The Mind-Body Connection (Neuroscience of Unforgiveness)

Triggers the Amygdala – This part of the brain processes emotions, especially fear and anger. Unforgiveness keeps it overactive, making a person reactive and emotionally sensitive.

Suppresses the Prefrontal Cortex – This area helps with rational thinking, decision-making, and problem-solving. When someone harbors resentment, it weakens their ability to think clearly and make peace-driven choices.

Increases Cortisol (Stress Hormone) – Chronic unforgiveness keeps the body flooded with stress hormones, leading to fatigue, brain fog, and irritability.

3. Identity & Self-Worth Distortion

Unforgiveness shapes a person’s self-narrative. They may start seeing themselves as a perpetual victim, which fuels a cycle of bitterness, self-pity, or even self-sabotage.

4. Impact on Relationships & Communication

Unresolved hurt leads to trust issues, defensive communication, and emotional walls. Instead of engaging in courageous conversations, a person may withdraw, become passive-aggressive, or lash out unexpectedly.

5. Spiritual Disconnection

For those on a faith journey, unforgiveness can create spiritual heaviness. It can feel like an internal block, making it harder to experience peace, clarity, and divine alignment.

The Healing Path

Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing or forgetting—it means releasing the emotional hold the offense has on you. As Yeshua taught in Matthew 6:14-15, forgiveness is a key to freedom.

Releasing someone actually release you. When you hold on to unforgiveness you are actually holding yourself in prison. The other individual is walking around and doing whatever they want and quite happy doing so. It only appears that they are getting away with something, but God sees every act and every deed. He is the judge.

I am sure that you know that you are not perfect. Yes, I know, but you never did that. This may be true, but I can just about guarantee that you have offended someone at some point in your life and you may not be aware of it. The other individual is fully aware.

My point is no one is flawless and we have all done something to make another person or group angry. Why should you put your mental, emotional, psychological, physical, and spiritual life at risk? Forgiveness is a gift-to you. It is not for the other person. The release comes to you. Emotional burdens are released. The weight that you have been carrying suddenly lifts and you feel much lighter. You can move freely through life in a way that you could not see and do before. The emotional baggage and exhaustion is unpacked and put out. You will feel mentally charged and spiritually filled.

Releasing resentment and forgiving someone will unlock joy, peace, and restores personal power and freedom. This puts you back in control of your life and emotions. One of the things that I have discovered is that allowing someone else to dictate how I felt sucks. They don’t get to dictate how I feel and how I react. My feelings are mine. Allowing someone to steal your joy should never be an option. I am not saying that your feeling for what was done was not warranted, but to continually carry this poisonous venom for the rest of your life is detrimental to you. The offender is not and will not drink that cocktail that you have made and consumed.It is important to note that it can affect the other relationships around you.

Science has proven just what resentment, bitterness, and unforgiveness can do to the host. The brain will not function the way that it was intended because of the disruption of unforgiveness. Releasing it should be a welcomed opportunity. Just do it.

Forgiveness truly is a gift that comes to set the captive free—free from the weight of resentment, the chains of past pain, and the burden of unresolved emotions. It is not just an act of mercy toward others but a sacred release for your own soul, allowing you to walk in peace, healing, and wholeness.

 Isaiah 61:1 (NIV) – “He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.”

 Lewis B. Smedes – “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”